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February is Dating Violence Awareness Month

Feb 11, 2020

Dating violence is when someone you are seeing romantically harms you in some way, whether it is physically, sexually, emotionally, or all three. It can happen on a first date, or once you’ve fallen deeply in love. Dating violence is never your fault. Learn the signs of dating violence or abuse and how to get help.

Some signs of dating abuse include:

  • Forcing you to have sex when you don’t want to.
  • Telling you that you owe them sex in exchange for taking you out on a date.
  • Acting overly jealous, including constantly accusing you of cheating.
  • Being extremely controlling, such as telling you what to wear, forbidding you from seeing friends and family, or demanding to check your phone, email, and social media.
  • Constantly checking in with you and getting angry if you don’t check in with him or her.
  • Putting you down, including your appearance (clothes, makeup, hair, weight), intelligence, and activities.
  • Trying to isolate you from other people, including by insulting them.
  • Blaming you for the abusive behavior and listing the ways you “made him or her do it.”
  • Refusing to take responsibility for their own actions.
  • Apologizing for abuse and promising to change again and again.
  • Having a quick temper, so you never know what you will do or say that may cause a problem.
  • Not allowing you to end the relationship or making you feel guilty for leaving
  • Threatening to call the authorities (police, deportation officials, child protective services, etc.) as a way to control your behavior.
  • Stopping you from using birth control or going to the doctor or nurse.
  • Committing any physical violence, such as hitting, pushing, or slapping you.

None of the behavior described above is okay. Even if your partner does only a few of these things, it’s still abuse. It is never okay for someone to hit you or be cruel to you in any way.

Dating Abuse Statistics:

  • One in six (16%) college women has been sexually abused in a dating relationship.
  • College students are not equipped to deal with dating abuse – 57% say it is difficult to identify and 58% say they don’t know how to help someone who’s experiencing it.
  • One in three (36%) dating college students has given a dating partner their computer, online access, email or social network passwords and these students are more likely to experience digital dating abuse.

If you believe you have been a victim of domestic violence, dating violence and/or stalking, contact CNM Security to file a report. If you have an emergency situation, call CNM Security's emergency line at 224-3001 or 911 from a CNM phone. For non-emergencies, call CNM Security at 224-3002.  You should follow-up with a call to the Dean of Students at 224-4342 to schedule an appointment.

Resources:
https://www.breakthecycle.org/learn-about-dating-abuse
https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/other-types/dating-violence-and-abuse
https://victimsofcrime.org/help-for-crime-victims/get-help-bulletins-for-crime-victims/bulletins-for-teens/dating-violence
https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/dating-violence-statistics/
https://www.rainn.org/news/early-warning-signs-dating-violence